Why is it so hard…

Am I asking too much or too little? What is it? Why is it not happening?

I just want peace; I want to look at the sky and be happy just for being able to see it. I want to appreciate getting up …lifting up my arm…setting at a table after a day of fasting…I want be happy for every minute I live, for every stupidity in my life.

I want to know what Fulfillment feels like, what we call in Moroccan dialect "Al qanaa".

I thought that I would acquire it, and that I just have to ask …didn't god tell me to ask and he will give. Well, then I am so ready for it…I want to be happy for being happy, happy for just the fact that I am alive. Why is it so hard?

God, am I offending just by asking all this, I know you are listening …so don't I deserve an answer? No, don't…don't let me down!